Up the Tree

  • presandarnold.jpg

    George: Remember that time you went down to Latin America to save your daughter and kicked that cartel’s ass?

    Arnold: Ya.

    George: That was awesome! Well I created a little bit of a shitfarm down in Iraq, would you mind taking care of a guy for me?

    Arnold: Dat vas just a moovie! Commando! I am a actoor!

    George: I know what your saying there Arnie, but even if that was a movie – remember when you killed that alien in the woods with pointed sticks? do like that, but instead of an alien this is a guy named Osama-

    Arnold: But I say dat vas just a moovie too!

    George: Alright, Alright, but remember that time you were the Beastmaster and could talk to the hawks n’ shit? (turns to advisor) They got hawks in Iraq?

    Arnold: I wasn’t even in dat movie, dat vas Marc Singer. He vas da BeastMaster.

    George: Do you know if he’s a republican?

  • That’s right it’s almost time for over-privileged rich white people to descend on new york city and today the wall street journal posted an article introducing us to the republican bloggers who will be covering the RNC.

    WSJ.com – Meet the Bloggers, Part Two

    Anybody else notice that all these kaki wearing white people are REALLY unattractive? All pasty and pale. Reading down you realize that most of them are “consultants” and the others have jobs that don’t mean anything like “architectural designer”?! What the hell is that? I work with architects and I am a designer… there is no profession called “architectural designer”. that’s like saying you’re a “dentist pediatrician”!

    Yes, please stay tuned for more random hostility towards the republicans and updates from my democratic hometown of New York City.

  • This is the anatomy
    of my broken heart. Broke – torn apart.
    The shot, the sprint, and my false start
    leaves me all alone.

    So you’ve recaptured your college years,
    under the weight of grown-up fears
    the planes fly by, you hold back tears
    you are all alone.

    CHORUS
    Did you find no questions?
    Did you find no answers dear?
    Did you find it’s all unclear
    when you’re all alone?

    The ruling class this monarchy.
    The crown, this town – down to the sea.
    The wasted papers of your pedigree
    when you’re all alone.

    So walk with me beneath bright stars,
    Past poppy fields and unmarked cars.
    Walk with me while we’re still ours,
    and we’re all alone.

    CHORUS
    CHORUS

    (as heard RIGHT HERE)

  • too much to drink

    It was then that Susie realized that the third vodka and tonic was a mistake. For all her planning, she had not planned this.

  • Baby Ben Stamp

    Yes, it is true. A “Baby Ben Bib” stamp would be one hell of a cute stamp, but the risks are just too great.

    Also, what if somebody put your picture on a stamp and sent it to you. Stalker stamps! That would be totally creepy.