On the Subject of Blogs

Who got carried away with his writing?
That would be me.

Web logs, or online diaries like this one, are a double-edged sword. On the one hand, they are sometimes interesting views into another person’s character; other times, they aren’t. Most of the time, it isn’t what the person writes but how they write it, but they begin to blur the line between interesting thought and contrived thought that’s had for the sake of an interesting anecdote.

Do I need a book to write this stuff?

I will set forth a foundation for this blog—a manifesto, if you will, of the things I want to accomplish with it. Not a grandiose manifesto, mind you, just things to keep in mind as I continue to write.

First off, blogs I like, Dooce. She has a certain spark of creativity and energy that seems to bring people to her. She is honest and keeps her stories to the point. They are plain and simple but have her presence. You know she is a person who has a real life with real emotions. It isn’t about grandiose stories, but rather finding the grandiose in the commonplace Ok, I got to watch that “new age” shit.

Um- Little Yellow Different is very funny. Plus, he’s gay, so you know he’ll have a different take than my boring straight thoughts.

Second- Attitude. I like sites with a good positive attitude. I’m not one for depressing weblogs. Who wants to log onto a nebbish’s site where they only complain about things? Who would come back? Nobody… Except for Jews, or people raised by Jews from a very young age (I’ll explain later).

While I want to be honest, I also want to keep things positive (and interesting).

Third- design Well, I think I have that mostly covered. I’m pleased with the design of the site. I’ll keep it.

Fourth- Updates. This is a hard one to keep going. So many weblogs start off strong but peter off after the second week. I guess it’s the nature of the beast. Other things are bound to spring up in my life that will push the blog out of the way. It’s inevitable. I will try to keep myself motivated to write in it almost every day if possible… Once a week, I promise… but certainly no less than once a month I will write something.

Fifth- Humor. This is an important one. I mean, who could forget’s tirade about farts?

But there, there in Monroe, Washington, perhaps all over the Pacific Northwest, I guess it’s okay to laugh at someone’s bellowing, yodeling fart in a public restroom, because right after she let that stuttering bomb rip, a woman in the stall next to mine started laughing uncontrollably. And I’m not talking about a gentle, muffled laugh, or a laugh that could possibly pass for cough. The woman in the stall next to mine was belly laughing, cackling like a crazed hyena, heehawing at the other woman’s fart. -Dooce

Humor keeps people coming back. I want to keep people coming back. I want people to like me. I’m as insecure as the next person, so I’ll change if you don’t like me. I’m pretty good on that one as well. At least in real life, I make most people laugh. If I could put that over into the written word, dare I say it, I would be unstoppable.

I’m tired. I think I’ll go to bed now and enjoy these newfound ideals that I will forget by tomorrow.



Gobble Gobble

Yes, it’s Thanksgiving again. It’s time to spend time with the family again, overindulge in food, and pray to god it all goes quickly this year without your mother asking why you’re not married yet. (This is a recent development for me, but if you’re Jewish, you’ve probably heard it since you were five.) I love this holiday because it is just the right mixture of commercialism and genuine American patriotism that make it a holiday almost anybody, who doesn’t deeply hate America, can latch onto. It, in my mind, is the perfect American holiday.

What better represents America than overindulgence and overeating?

The actual holiday is, of course, a horrible one. Over the years has been Disinyfied by a morally bankrupt culture that believes that the more “bad” things we sweep under the carpet, the healthier our society will be. Strangely enough, the more historically homogenized we make our country, the more terrible it seems to become. The settlers landed in America hungry and unprepared for the new world, and the Native American population showed us the uses of corn and the abundance of the land. This is why we celebrate Thanksgiving. We seem to have forgotten that after the Native Americans showed us their hospitality, we basically murdered them all or infected them with our European viruses and then stole their land. Classic white boy fun times.

“for some native Americans, Thanksgiving Day is called and treated as ‘Day of Mourning’ because it is a celebration”link

The basic premise of the current holiday, however, is a wonderful one, which despite attempts to over-commercialize it, is still about spending time with loved ones. This sentiment is still refreshing from its roots 509 years ago.

It is a holiday unmarred by religious imagery or politics. Except if your ancestors were Native American, then you can sit in your room and wish terrible things on all of us white-bred, overindulgent Caucasians and our influenza. For the rest of us, let’s eat some turkey, drink some beers, and enjoy the unrealistically constructed version of our families and country.


Happy Birthday to Me

Today is the day. My Birthday. Happy fun times. My birthday has not been the most spectacular of celebrated events, but to tell the truth, I have not been diligent about it’s celebration. Really, I could care less, although turning 25 is big, really big, or so it seems. It’s just that a self-important celebration isn’t my thing. Why make a fuss over little old me?

When I turned 24, I was cynical about the whole thing. 24 was still a young number in my mind. I thought all that age-turning crap was just an excuse for Hallmark to sell shitty cards. That part is true: Hallmark sells shitty cards, but the cynicism was based entirely on my fear of growing up and losing my youth. Well, my youth and my hair. So, in a bizarre twist of fate, I spent my 24th birthday alone in a bar because all of my friends were busy, and it was so close to Thanksgiving.

(On a later note: I just received a very cute Hallmark e-card from my girlfriend, which wasn’t shitty and was quite endearing.)

The fact of the matter is being scared of getting older is fruitless. You will get older, and there is nothing you can do about it. I cannot re-live the past or live in the past. I must look ahead and be happy that I have what I have right now and rejoice in my life rather than complain about it. I don’t have any choice in the matter.

As one of my favorite musicians, Krishna Das said recently during a performance, “You can either be happy in your life, or you can learn to be happy in your life. It is your choice. You only get one life to live, so you better start enjoying it.” This had a profound effect on my life. So many people complain about this and that and never get around to enjoy what they have.

So, I decided as a new leaf to turn, to try to enjoy life… and try to remember it this time.