High Cholesterol

Today was my semiannual checkup/results from blood test. For all the things that were right (I’m not dead), there were quite a few things that needed some work. The biggest of the things that need work? My cholesterol.

Welcome to your 30’s.

Once you hit 30, shit changes. Hardcore. When I was in my 20’s I was like “This is how it’s always going to be, pass the deep-fried butter pats!” but now I’m eating hummus with carrots. CARROTS PEOPLE! I thought they were only used to stuff up animal’s rectal cavities or used to flavor gravy. I look at people like Paul Westerberg and am like, what am I doing wrong? He had is blood replaced like 5 times by the time he was my age and I bet his knees don’t click when he goes up the stairs!

So all of this is further evidence that while I feel like a idiot child, I am in fact becoming a geezer who will shortly understand the allure of Matlock and early bird specials.

I get it.


One response to “High Cholesterol”

  1. aw =/ I've had high cholesterol all my life, I've gotten so used to it I just eat whatever, and I'm always still skinny and healthy, except the cholesterol.

    I just hope you find something better to eat than carrots. Carrots are terrible!