Pant Defeat

!<(photo)!: Pants can tell you a lot about a person. You can tell volumes just by looking at the brand, style, cut, and manufacture of a pair of pants. Does this person work in an office that requires a slacks? Do they have a casual Friday dress code? Are they a "Pleat Person"? Do they care that the tapered jeans that they are wearing makes them look like a smurf sugar cone? Currently my pants will tell you about my struggle not to move up to a size 36 waist. My pants will tell you that I will not admit defeat, but the battle so far has not been a good one. They might hint to you about my penchant for burgers with fries (even though I know I should have the salad). They might mention that I continue to buy "threadless": t-shirts in a size medium, even though I look like a sausage in every other medium threadless t-shirt I own. Or they might say that the use of a belt is purely for display purposes only. But I cannot go to a size 36, for that move will be accepting defeat and accepting a lifestyle I don't want to lead. It's one step further toward shopping at the *Big & Tall* department stores. But I won't be a tall man, OH NO, I will be a big man. Being tall is a medical condition, while being big is just eating to many Crispy Creame crullers. I shall not be a 36! I cannot be. It is not my destiny.


4 responses to “Pant Defeat”

  1. Funtime Diane Avatar
    Funtime Diane

    Remember when Pepper was a size 36?

  2. It seems that someone has come down with a serious case of FFPD.

  3. Me and “Jerry”: both… maybe I should have a telethon?!

  4. psalm Avatar

    tapered jeans are bad..very bad.