Cottage Enterprise

Maybe it can be chalked up to my youth, or maybe it can be chalked up to my immaturity, or perhaps my love of sweets, but I have decided…

*I hate cottage cheese.*

I never tried the stuff before. It’s lumpy texture put me strait off. I had always assumed it was something akin to yogurt, a dairy product of some culture sold to health freaks that hit it’s heyday in the 80’s.

Jesus! It’s like eating wet feta! Wet feta with fruit!? It has a definite flavor of cheese and I’m not too good with runny cheeses. I get all queazy just thinking about ricotta. It seriously took me years to approach lasagna in good faith and I just ate a whopping mouthful of wet cheese and apple.

Diane got me a smallish tub of cottage cheese and said “Do you like cottage cheese? I love the stuff.” I should have known better than trust a woman who’s love of cheese could be defined as _the stinkier the better._ She enjoys cheeses that taste like country barns and smell like death, cheeses that ooze bluish mold, cheeses that could quite frankly end a marriage.

*I’m a pussy cheddar boy myself.*

bq. How can one conceive of a one party system in a country that has over 200 varieties of cheese. _-Charles de Gaulle_

I guess you could say my taste in cheese is tame, but then again the wonderful thing about cheese is there’s enough cheeses for everybody’s tastes. Now where are my “Baked Doritos?”:

Photograph with my fingers coated in orange Dorito powdered cheese


5 responses to “Cottage Enterprise”

  1. I just went to a cheese festival and they had all sorts of different cheeses. I really liked one but I can't remember what it's called. I really like string cheese though. I don't know if that's what other people call it but that's what I call it.

  2. Are we talking about cheese in a can, or those white cylinders individually wrapped in plastic from my childhood?


  3. The individually wrapped ones. Mmm.

  4. Cottage cheese is great with pineapples or peaches. You have to be in the right state of mind for it. Sometimes I get on a cottage cheese kick. You have to wait for the urge.

  5. Cheese fingers, my favorite!