Tracks Up the Tree

TUTT 53: The Dingleberry Peninsula

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Ahhh, just got it up in time. Josiah’s gonna provide the notes. TUTT 53, back in MP3 form (with link to AAC to come) Sorry ran out of time.

So, I tried to get the other site up and running, but it seems as though by splitting up the website into 2, it meant twice the work. 8 hours of editing source code later I’ve decided, why screw with a good thing? Let’s get this website pimped and we can see what happens in the future. What we like to call this is me coming running back… will you take me back?

ZUNE is better than iPhone

Subway Etiquette

HoP Greatest Hit(s)


Advice on Tips

Hey. You. Yeah, you. You know what you did. Oh, what’s that? You’re not from ’round here? Mmmm. Well. You still know what you did.

“Everything was great. We had SUCH a wonderful time…”

That’s not a tip. That’s a compliment, and you know it. Nothing like the “Tip You With A Compliment” tip.

“Zis es SUCH unt vonderful place! Here es unt 9 percent tip vor such unt vonderful service!”

Yeah. Stop playing the “We don’t tip in my country, so they must not tip in yours” card.

Waiters live off tips, at least in America, they do. I find it hard to believe that in this information age, people are still in the dark about how much to tip your server. So here it is: We make $4.85 an hour. That’s right—less than five friggin’ dollars. We live off of tips. 20% is the going rate. Granted, if your server sucks, tip less. But keep in mind how very little we make by the hour and also keep in mind that the whole staff is probably sharing tips, so when you leave a crappy tip, it’s a bad tip for everyone working.

I don’t mean to sound bitter, but at my particular restaurant, we have to “suck up” to the customer no matter how crap-ass the tip is. And we aren’t supposed to confront the customer even if they leave one dollar on a 500-dollar bill. That gets a bit annoying. Like a big zit on the side of your face ready to pop. But you’re not allowed to touch it.

Here’s a quick and easy way to figure out a good tip:
(First off, don’t just “double the tax” to get the correct amount. That’s about 15%. Boo. None of that.)

If you want to leave a good tip take the full amount (let’s say $100.00 to make it easy) and move the decimal over one space to the left (giving you $10.00) and then double THAT amount (giving you $20.00). Easy. There’s your 20%.

Waiting tables is a hard, demanding job. And don’t you realize that we are handling your FOOD?! Why would you be an asshole to someone deciding the fate (and CLEANLINESS) of your food?

Like I’ve said before, if EVERYONE on earth had to be a waiter for at least a month, the world would be a wonderful, peaceful, respectful place.


Is This Thing On?

Just Josiah here, my lovely and adoring fans! Yes indeed! Ben has graciously granted me access to this fun-filled website. Soon my takeover will be complete. I kid. I kid. Riding shotgun with Benito behind the wheel is A-OK with me. Plus he has to do all the work and I get to drink all the beer.


Just wanted the world to know that we are planning to do a new show. Ben’s computer crashed and he lost most of his files and what-have-yous this past week so we were unable to record. He tells me we should be up-and-running sometime this week. Keep your fingers crossed and we should be able to have a new one out soon.

Much love.