Umbrella Jackass

Me, Diane, and a few friends went down to the Prospect Park band shell to see Stephen Malkmus rock out in the Celebrate Brooklyn series and all was fine and dandy until he was about to take the stage. We suffered through Shannon McNally a bizarre musician from Long Island with an identity crisis. Yes she was born on Long Island, but she has a southern twang as if she was from Tennessee (not that I know anything about accents or geography, which I don’t), which deeply urked me. I’m all for southern musicians having a twang, but if you’re from Long Island I want to hear no southern twang.

It seemed fake.

As soon as this music (for lack of a better description) ended there was the usual “Help Prospect Park” speech that comes during the show…

Without your support…


we wouldn’t be able…

pitter, patter

to hold events like this…

pitter, patter, pitter, patter, pitter

And then all hell broke loose, the sky opened up and torrents of water were falling upon us. Somewhere nearby a flash of light and I knew I was about to very damp very quickly.

and now Stephen Malkmus.

He was great, got up on stage apologized for the rain and began to play, but unfortunately this jackass with the largest umbrella in the world stood between us and the stage. I’m not exaggerating when I say that I had to walk 5 paces just to see around his gargantuan umbrella. This makeshift structure would have easily seating several people, but was he with any other people? No, this outcast was by himself under his own personal astrodome.

My point is this people, if you’re going to bring a funeral umbrella out, make sure you’re going to a funeral, or at least put it away after Shannon McNally is done yodeling.

Brooklyn Bandshell with guy with umbrella


2 responses to “Umbrella Jackass”

  1. thebird Avatar

    We had a fantastic (free) view outside of the silly barrier fence. What we enjoyed more though was running all the way out of the park to the bagel shop for lovely earl grey tea and a spot on a bench under an awning to watch all the other people run from the park and dodge lightning.

    I really remember enjoying Mr. Malkmus much more when I saw Pavement way back in 94 ( I was a wee little thing at 14 years old), but I think that had to do with the heavy underage drinking and pot smoking.

    Sorry we missed you!

  2. Too bad Norm Macdonald wasn't there to pop up out of nowhere and scream, "You're still gonna get rained on…Jackass!"