Somewhere in the mid 90’s Thom Yorke of “Radiohead”:http://www.ateaseweb.com/ and Chris Martin of “Coldplay”:http://www.coldplay.com/ had a love child, he is the ever posh, generically stylish, effervescently hip, and always charming _nondescript English man._
The Nondescript English Man is a great guy to have as a friend, in fact I’m willing to bet that many of you have a nondescript English man as a friend. That’s the alarming part about the nondescript English man, they are everywhere and everyone knows one. They are just good fun to invite to parties.
It was, in fact, a party where I realized my English friend was a nondescript English man, because standing in front of me at the party was another lanky brit with charming teeth, a pair of diesel sneakers in a zip up turtle neck talking about the latest “Interpol”:http://www.interpolny.com/ album gently spreading his ethnicity like a fantastically woven rug. “look at me,” he seemed to say “aren’t I non-threatening and interesting to listen to? I spell words funny and I have a queen who rules my country.”
*It was someone else’s nondescript English man!*
You might be asking yourself “But Funtime Ben, how would I know if I have a nondescript English man as a friend? Is it just his spelling _color_ wrong?” Well, I’m so glad you asked, here are the some signs that your english friend may be a nondescript English man.
* Is his hair shaved, or cut short?
* Does he wear grey?
* Does he always wear _distinctive_ shoes?
* Does he sport the unshaved look on occasion?
* Does he always know about great bands that you have never heard of?
* Does he wears anoraks, because he comes from BRITAIN?
* Does he Love the British slang (Bloke, Mate, Chip, etc.)?
This isn’t to say that a nondescript English man is any less of a person or a friend, far from it nondescript English men are fantastic friends to have around. They are courteous and give a party a sense of class that it normally wouldn’t have…
let’s face it, if it weren’t for the nondescript English man we would all be nondescript American men/women, it’s like Ying & Yang people…