One of my favorites.

Don’t get me wrong, it isn’t because of something you said, or did, I just want the option to get the hell out of here (if the shit goes down). The idea came to me one night as I was talking to one of my old roommates about the election, as they were recounting ballots in Florida, in 2000.

HER “I swear, if Bush wins, I’m going to leave the county… Move to Canada, or something. If he wins, it’s going to be bad, really bad.”

I don’t think she knew how bad it was going to get.

Soon after September 11th I thought to myself; I want to leave New York, get the hell out of here. Run Ben, Run… I didn’t. I stayed in Brooklyn and rebuilt my life with an overwhelming groundwork of fear, brought on, largely, by military helicopters passing overhead.

The helicopters have stopped flying overhead.

I am still nervous. More so in the past few weeks, by a president who has backed himself up a tree and must now go to war to save his approval rating and his foreign authority. Our country is in a bad way. Other countries are now revoking their support for a war with Iraq and Bush seems as if he doesn’t give a damn.

Cowboys shouldn’t have nuclear weapons.

I have this recurring daymare as I walk up 16th street toward Union Square. There is this brilliant flash of light and the buildings all around me crumble. People scream in horror as the first nuclear bomb is detonated in the Empire State building. Waves of fire, like breaking waves on the beach, incinerate everything and I get washed away in yellow flame. Everything goes black.

You might say that this is a foolish thought to have. You might say that there are far more things to be afraid of. You might say everything is going to turn out fine… you may be right, but I think things are going to get worse before they get better. I don’t think we have heard the end of Osama, or his followers. Until we start having foreign relations that benefit other countries as it benefits ours, we are going to be hated throughout the world. We get richer as other counties get poorer and it shows.

So, I’ve decided to get Dual Nationality with England.

I want to give myself options. I am getting nervous about this administration and what it might do, to me and others I care about. I am just starting to lose faith in my county (is all) and I would rather leave then put up with leadership I don’t believe in. Not to say I won’t fight for what I belive in, but it seems at the moment my county isn’t listening. They are, fingers in ears, refusing to listem to the concerns of the electorate.

I am tired of being tired.


One response to “One of my favorites.”

  1. Sadly, these same thoughts have consumed me to the point that I always feel on edge….like a pain in my chest. One night when Rob and I were on the F, the train stopped midway between E. Broadway and York…..and the conductor started jabbering in a very thick Middle Eastern accent……and you couldn't understand what he was saying. Rob and I were certain we were about to be blown to shreds….. But, we just had a red light. (There was no real point to this, but it does show that I was more afraid because of the sound of his accent…..I don't know if that's so good.)