Knitting Factory

Yeah, I knit! You got a problem with that? How about I take this needle and…

Seasonal depression is in the wings, and this year, as with last winter, I am without cigarettes and would rather not start taking anti-depressants, so I thought, on the staunch advice of my girlfriend, to start knitting.

It’s a bit of a blow to my manhood.

Then again, I was never much of a macho man to begin with, more of a Daniel Striped Tiger, but knitting? That is dead feminine. My grandmother knit. My Mother Knit. Now I knit.

Last Friday, at the Loose Fur concert, I whipped out my wool to show my friends Steve and Amy my newest project for my sister (To be honest, it made me show them). Steve remarked…

Steve: “Um, Ben, You’re knitting.”
Me: “Yeah, isn’t it cool?”
Steve: “I think we need to go play a game of baseball and have a few beers.”
Me: “Can I bring my Needles?”
Steve: “To the game?”
Me: “Yeah, I need something to do in the dugout.”

Amy thinks it is fabulous.

I then had a thought, or more accurately expanded on an earlier thought I had, if my single male friends started knitting and went to a knitting circle or even a knitting store, they would get snatched up by women in no time (the sane ones, at least). And more to the point, when guys are single, they go to sports bars or stay home and play PlayStation. When women are single they take an art class, or learn to knit. Guys sit and fester, while women improve themselves. This is, of course, a gross over generalization, but think about it…

Would you look for a mate at a bar (who drinks a lot), or at a painting class (who is creative)?

Knitting is really relaxing. You can only do passive things while knitting, like talking, or watch tv, if that’s your thing. The reward of seeing a scarf materialize in front of your eyes is huge, and the feeling you get when you receive an item made for you from somebody… It is like wearing a constant reminder of someone’s feelings about you.

Now see if a GAP sweater made by a Chinese worker for 49 cents gives you the same feeling. (and you always wonder why you feel like a bastard in that Old Navy fleece, that’s just how Zhang Wei (??) feels about you)


3 responses to “Knitting Factory”

  1. Personally, I rather enjoy blows to my manhood.

  2. So does he.

  3. I have to share this with everyone, Amy just sent me an e-mail that read:

    ben-you are fabulous!!!!… what a brilliant knitting revelation (as opposed to revolution) knitting = women and women who are quick with their hands.
    (wink wink nudge nudge)

    and she was a woman studies major in college! Got to love Amy.