Today is the day. My Birthday. Happy fun times. My birthday has not been the most spectacular of celebrated events, but to tell the truth I have not been diligent about it’s celebration. Really, I could care less, although turning 25 is big, really big, or so it seems. It’s just that a self-important celebration isn’t my thing. Why make a fuss over little old me?
When I turned 24 I was cynical about the whole thing. 24 was still a young number in my mind. I thought that all that age turning crap was just an excuse for Hallmark to sell shitty cards. Well that part is true, Hallmark does sell shitty cards, but the cynicism was based entirely of my fear of growing up and loosing my youth. Well, my youth and my hair. So, in a bizarre twist of fate I spent my 24th birthday by myself in a bar, because all of my friends were busy and it was so close to thanksgiving.
(On a later note: I just received a very cute Hallmark e-card from my girlfriend, which wasn’t shitty and was quite endearing.)
The fact of the matter is being scared of getting older is fruitless. You are going to get older and there is nothing you can do about it. I cannot re-live the past, or live in the past. I must look ahead and be happy that I have what I have right now and rejoice in my life, rather than complain about it. I don’t have any choice in the matter.
As one of my favorite musicians Krishna Das said recently “You can either be happy in your life, or you can learn to be happy in your life. You only get one life to live, so you better start enjoying it.” This had a profound effect on my life. So many people sit complaining about this and that and never get around to enjoying what they have.
So, I decided as a new leaf to turn, to try to enjoy life… and try to remember it this time.