Commitment is going to “IKEA”: with your girlfriend (or boyfriend) and shopping for furniture for your apartment. It shows you all sorts of things about your significant other; their style, their taste, their willingness to adapt. It’s a test. A two floor Swedish test with products, that I’m convinced, have subliminal messages in their titles.


Diane and I broke up twice, had a fight about paper lanterns, decided that a good window covering makes all the difference in a room and still had time for meatballs. The stress of carrying a yellow plastic bag around Elizabeth New Jersey and picking up nicknacks you will eventually discard at the check-out is more than anyone can handle. Combine that sensory overload with people wielding shopping carts like viking hammers and you have the basic gist of the IKEA at exit 13A.

I’m glad to say that we have patched up our differences and will be staying together for the children.



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