When I was younger, 8 or 9, I used to think that mayonnaise had some sort of preserving feature. I thought people smeared that disgusting white stuff all over their sandwiches because it protected the bread from getting soggy from the tomato. It was like bread paint.
A protective barrier, if you will.
When I later learned that it was smeared on sandwiches for flavor, I was utterly at a loss. Why would you voluntarily smear an opaque gel across your perfectly tasty sandwich? For years after I forbade it from ever touching a sandwich of mine. Finally, at age 14, I accepted mayonnaise into my life, because I discovered the joys of Ham & Swiss.
Now, I enjoy a little mayo on my sandwiches. A splash of the low-fat variety is a treat I do indulge in. I’m not an over-indulger by any means, if I take a bite of a sandwich and mayo begins to squirt out the other side… I have to perform a mayomectomy (smear the excess on the bag).
Funnily enough, it was when I was 18 I realized, from a lengthy examination of a Hellmann’s bottle, that mayo also doesn’t contain dairy. I just assumed. White stuff, other than Fluff, equals some sort of dairy product. It doesn’t.
I checked.
Comments
9 responses to “Hold the Mayo”
Although it contains no dairy, I learned that you must stick it in the fridge. Eggs. And what are you talking about?, no protective barrier, that's a secondary usage at least.
I just liked thtat you worked "funnily" in a sentence.
It is pretty much just eggs and oil – you could easily make it at home. Who would want to? Disgusting for the most part but yes, a little bit mixed with some nice mustard on a ham and cheese and you have got your self a little heaven sandwich.
Rita, you're a heaven sandwich.
mayo is the best thing i ever heard of on a sandwich whether it be a protective barrier or not. i LIKE it to squeeze out the end of the sandwich…especially if you happen to be in europe and they HAND MAKE the mayo. it's like heaven. HEAVEN i say.
Mayonaise can taste good. In Belgium and the Netherlands they make a variation called fritessaus – it has a splash of vinegar I think – and an enjoyable flavor. And of course there is the delicious aioli – garlic mayonaise.
And yes, I am glad to be spending part of my Tuesday morning defending the flavor of mayonaise.
That's alright, I spent Wednesday writing this entry.
I say this merely because I care: mayo is the work of Satan. Those who eat mayo and espouse its virtues make Baby Jesus weep.
Embrace mustard. Preferably spicy.
Would you please let know the exact meaning of
HOLD THE MAYO.
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Ebi Mod