Whatever it Takes

I’m not sure if it was the onion I cutting for lunch, but I was moved to tears after reading the article “Whatever It Takes”: which appeared in the New York Times today. It reminded me of convictions, where they are and why I have them.

In the simplest of terms.


Combined IQ 7


George: Remember that time you went down to Latin America to save your daughter and kicked that cartel’s ass?

Arnold: Ya.

George: That was awesome! Well I created a little bit of a shitfarm down in Iraq, would you mind taking care of a guy for me?

Arnold: Dat vas just a moovie! Commando! I am a actoor!

George: I know what your saying there Arnie, but even if that was a movie – remember when you killed that alien in the woods with pointed sticks? do like that, but instead of an alien this is a guy named Osama-

Arnold: But I say dat vas just a moovie too!

George: Alright, Alright, but remember that time you were the Beastmaster and could talk to the hawks n’ shit? (turns to advisor) They got hawks in Iraq?

Arnold: I wasn’t even in dat movie, dat vas Marc Singer. He vas da BeastMaster.

George: Do you know if he’s a republican?


Are You Ready to Rumble?

That’s right it’s almost time for over-privileged rich white people to descend on new york city and today the wall street journal posted an article introducing us to the republican bloggers who will be covering the RNC. – Meet the Bloggers, Part Two

Anybody else notice that all these kaki wearing white people are REALLY unattractive? All pasty and pale. Reading down you realize that most of them are “consultants” and the others have jobs that don’t mean anything like “architectural designer”?! What the hell is that? I work with architects and I am a designer… there is no profession called “architectural designer”. that’s like saying you’re a “dentist pediatrician”!

Yes, please stay tuned for more random hostility towards the republicans and updates from my democratic hometown of New York City.


All Alone Lyrics

This is the anatomy
of my broken heart. Broke – torn apart.
The shot, the sprint, and my false start
leaves me all alone.

So you’ve recaptured your college years,
under the weight of grown-up fears
the planes fly by, you hold back tears
you are all alone.

Did you find no questions?
Did you find no answers dear?
Did you find it’s all unclear
when you’re all alone?

The ruling class this monarchy.
The crown, this town – down to the sea.
The wasted papers of your pedigree
when you’re all alone.

So walk with me beneath bright stars,
Past poppy fields and unmarked cars.
Walk with me while we’re still ours,
and we’re all alone.


(as heard RIGHT HERE)


Not Planned This

too much to drink

It was then that Susie realized that the third vodka and tonic was a mistake. For all her planning, she had not planned this.


“I see a baby Ben in Bib Stamp Coming…”

Baby Ben Stamp

Yes, it is true. A “Baby Ben Bib” stamp would be one hell of a cute stamp, but the risks are just too great.

Also, what if somebody put your picture on a stamp and sent it to you. Stalker stamps! That would be totally creepy.


Styles Galore

As you may have noticed, I have done some redecorating around here. There is now a *switcher* in the upper right hand corner, for any of you who might object to the new look and want my _Classic_ styling. To each his (or her) own.

Tell me what you think, or if it looks really bad in your modern web browser drop me a line. As always we prefer if you view the website in “Firefox”: but life is imperfect.

Yes, unfortunately not everything went as smoothly as planned. My individual entries are not working right. I am working on it as fast as possible. I hope to have it all sorted out soon.


New Annoying Stamp Options

_Warning, Sarcasm Ahead!_

Do you ever feel as if your stamp is just not speaking for you? Is your ego so big that you need your mug on your mail? Are you getting married and feel like the people you know would like to see the “studio” picture of you and your fiance? OH MY GOD, do you have, like, the cutest baby ever? Well lucky for you now you can add any of the above photos to your stamps at PhotoStamps.

Hey if Maya Angelou can be on a stamp, why shouldn’t you be on one? Right? Probably because she’s one of the greatest voices of the African American poetry movement and you are famous for eating corn chips in your underwear on a Friday night. Unfortunately, the service will cost you a little extra per stamp, but hey isn’t it worth it for the excitement of not seeing your friends open your letters? (and then throwing away the envelope)


And We Are Back

Although we don’t look any different, let me assure you that I went through heaven and hell trying to get this mother of a website back online. I am totally exhausted!

Up the Tree has officially changed hosts, because we were being ignored by our last hosting company and therefore left. I actually tried to call them to ask if I could pay more for a bigger plan which they never answered. I wanted to give them my money, but they just didn’t listen… so I waived my cash around and another hosting company snatched me up. We are proud to announce that “Dreamhost”: is our host of choice for the new year (and hopeful new president). If you too are unhappy switch over to Dreamhost, because they have awesome deals with webhosting, including the ability to host multiple domains! I have had really great success setting up new domains, handing out e-mail addresses, setting up MySQL databases, subdomains, list-serves, webmail… you name it, I’ve had a great experience.

So far I’ve set up:
“MovableType 2.661”: (because I’m too nervous to upgrade)
“WordPress”: (beacuse I want to move from MovableType to the free option)
“ShortStat”: (Stats the whole family can enjoy)

If you go, tell them (wac) sent you!


Kerry decides not to eat at Wendy’s

In the Hudson Valley News, which you may know as one of the last bastions of truth in our society… I read an “article” about Kerry’s tour bus stopping at a Wendy’s in Newburgh New York to eat, when in fact the future president had already ordered food at a five-star restaurant. It turns out Kerry had no plans to order from Wendy’s.

WOW. It’s almost like I can feel the news breaking around me!

It reminded me of college, while during orientation my sophomore year, I ate and Wendy’s in Westchester and had explosive diarrhea and extreme stomach discomfort. I have since, never entered a Wendy’s without first consulting a physician.

The moral of this story? *Yet another reason to trust our country (and stomachs) with Kerry.*