7 Oct 2017

Dear Diary it has been more than 2 years since my last confession.

I have been listening to David Sedaris’ Theft By Finding, which is the first collection of old diary entries spanning 1977-2002. It made me realize I really don’t write as much so used to. Chalk it up to starting a family and having a career, but the writing thing just hasn’t been a priority lately.

Just today I was on my PS4 ready for friends to come online to play some games. I realized that only one person was online and not someone I normally play with. It’s times like these that I wonder if I’m missing something. Is it the Oscars, the Emmys, or do people have actual lives?I feel like I would be the one person playing games as a world war broke loose and would be utterly oblivious to the fact.

If it weren’t for J, I would be far less connected to the world, although her tastes usually center around the deaths of celebrities than truly horrific current events… of which there are tons. I’m often taken aback by how often people in my life, especially those at work love being the bearers of bad news.

“Did you hear, ______” is often the start of a sentence I wish I hadn’t heard.

It’s never “fireman saved a kitten” or “I made lasagna from scratch and it’s in the kitchen!” Instead its something far more… dubious.

Its cliche but true, bad news travels faster than good news.

Bonsai Contracts

Bonsai provides freelance work contract templates for creative freelancers like designers and developers. Sounds pretty cool, will give it a try on our next project for sure.

Chuck & Jim

One of my dearest friends David Bartin (no not the gym guy) helped make, what I believe to be, one of the most elegant cases for why marriage is something all of us should have a right to. The documentary Chuck & Jim is all about a couple addicted to roller coasters, their dog, and each other. Chuck & Jim shows that love is love and regardless of how it manifests itself, it deserves celebrating.

Watch it with a loved one. Send it to your parents. Love somebody unabashedly.

A Personal Story

Last night, during my wife’s story telling open mic, I told the most personal story I have ever shared. It wasn’t necessarily a good story, nor do I feel I succeeded at being as honest as I was planning on being, but it is the most raw thing I have ever said on stage in the 10 years of being on them. The story, if you can call it that, was about my fear of my life. I live my life, according to my fears.

I have done some amazing things through my fear, such as marry my incomprehensibly wonderful wife, take improv classes, and telling stories. But those moments of clarity are far overshadowed by far darker years of immobilizing fear, preventing me from taking risks, speaking up for myself, and even, at some points, from leaving my apartment. Fear has ruled my life for so long, I’m not entirely sure what my life will look like without fear.

### I’m terrified of my life without fear.

So, I have decided to go to therapy. Not sure what kind, or where, or how I will pay for it; but I need to do something proactive to change the darker parts of my thoughts. I love so many parts of my life and for the most part live a positive existence, but those thunderclouds of self doubt and judgement are always hanging on the horizon, waiting to move in. If I am going to find happiness not solely based on the support of my wife (Thank you) I need to do something about it. I need to find out why I feel the way I feel and why I become immobilized, like a deer in headlights, the minute a choice outside my comfort zone presents itself.

I’m going to document my process, because as I said yesterday; I can’t be alone in feeling this way. I work better working with other people. This is why I started teaching. My fear is huge, but so is my love of the people who care about me, support me, and tell me everything is going to be alright. My love is also huge for all those people feeling the same thing and not knowing what to do next. For all of you without such support groups, I am here to let you know everything is going to be alright, we are going to be alright. I care about you.

I care about me.



Monoid is a “customizable, minimal + legible font optimized for coding. It’s customisable with ligatures, alternates and class based positioning.” More than that, it is an Open Source monospace font (similar to Source Code Pro) and seems, at least at smaller sizes, to have a plesant tech-focused character.


Screenings is a new site that collects presentations and talks on design. A great resource for anyone needing a mid-day kick in the ass to do more.

IM Creator XPS

IM Creator’s XPS looks to be an interesting visual website design tool akin to Squarespace‘s visual editor. I have only used Squarespace on a handful of website and the biggest drawback is their monthly billing over buying the software outright. XPS seems to be more affordable for developers and has a great free option for students and non-corporate work. Personally I’m getting sick and tired of all this website building with code and long for the future when the tools will be more akin to InDesign than the movie Hackers.